Remembering A Life Lived

(Molly)

Today, April 7, marks one year since we first learned that Henry's life had begun. I can remember it all so clearly. I was SURE I was pregnant, but I made myself wait to confirm because I was busy with the details of our parish's Mother-Daughter Tea. (A wonderful event which I've been blessed to coordinate for the last few years, but one that takes a huge amount of my time each spring.) I wanted to be able to focus on one thing at a time.

For some reason, I've never looked at the results of a pregnancy test before Brendan. I always just leave it on the counter and send Brendan in there to find out the result. We were so excited to be expecting our fifth child and the kids were, too!

So, this day is bitter-sweet for us. We rejoice in the life that Henry lived and we are confident that his life had purpose. His soul was created to glorify our Heavenly Father and although the life he lived was short, he has brought many souls into a deeper relationship with our Lord.

We have suffered greatly in the last few months, but we recognize a deep peace in our hearts. The most difficult times are those that come unexpectedly. Certain events are sure to be difficult and I can usually prepare myself for those moments. I'm never prepared, however, to break down while I'm scrubbing the kitchen floor because I suddenly remember that my life has changed. I can't build myself up for a moment when I might see the Baby Wash sitting on the side of the bathtub, that Baby Wash I bought just before Thanksgiving in preparation for the new baby.

In the past week I came across a beautiful prayer that I wanted to share with our readers. The words of this prayer speak so eloquently the way we feel in our hearts.

This Holy Week, we unite our sufferings with the Passion of Christ. We pray for comfort from Our Lady who truly knows our deep sorrow as she watched her Son die with the weight of the world on His shoulders.

Prayer for a Parent Whose Child Has Died

Mysterious Lord of Life and Death, a very part of my life has died in the death of my child. My soul is weighed down with sorrow and bears the wound of a lifelong scar. Send to me Your angel of consolation for the pain is heavy and deep.

Come to my aid, Lord of Mercy, for I lack the power of the holy parent, Abraham, who was willing, in obedience to Your command, to sacrifice to You his beloved son, Isaac.

Lord God, You who are also a parent surely know my pain at the loss of my beloved child, Henry Blaise, who has been taken from my side by death.

Do not take my tears and sorrow as a sign of my unbelief that all who have died in Your love are resurrected to eternal life in You, but, rather, see in these tears a sign of my great love for my child.

As I held him in the embrace of love, may You, his Divine Parent, hold him close to Your heart forever.

Help me, Lord, for I do not seek to understand the why of this mystery of death as much as I desire to accept it in a holy way and to be healed and once again whole.

Support me, my Lord and God, and wrap me in Your gentle love as I attempt to carry this bitter cross as Your Son, Jesus, carried the cross which You gave to Him.

Amen.